Melodies
by DarkColdSummer
Summary: "Maybe those fears are realistic." Ash has gone on a serious downward spiral ever since his mother was killed in front of his own two eyes. To add salt to the wound, his childhood friend Serena had just passed on in a plane crash. When Bonnie takes a closer look at him, she may just realise that their friend is not all that they make him out to be. Suicidal!Ash x Dead!Serena
1. Chapter 1

_Everyone plays a melody or melodies, knowingly or not. Some go well together, some constantly reject the other. Its even worse when you play multiple melodies, hoping that they will somehow resonate with one another. I'm trying that and it ain't working. Far from it in fact. Those clashing melodies in my head, separate they sound decent, together they're a mess._

 _Little bit by little bit, they make me lose myself, clawing at my sanity every day, every moment, every second of my life, shredding it to pieces bit by bit. But maybe, if I lose myself completely, will anyone care enough to come close to me anymore? I hope not. They better not. I'm a danger magnet. Anyone who comes close to me gets hurt. So everyone, please stay away from me. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, because when I do, I'm hurting myself even more. Its almost as if everyone uses Mirror Coat and directs the attack right back at me, double the power, double the intensity, double the guilt._

He curls up on his bed, not moving, not thinking, not smiling, simply frowning. Even his best friend Pikachu can't get him out of his state. His friends are all worried. Its not like him to be like this for even a day, let alone for a fortnight. Then again, he has had it hard lately. How else would anyone expect him to feel?

For someone merely 16 years old, he had accomplished quite a lot. At the same time, he had gone through quite a lot. How many 16 year old boys would have died and be revived? How many 16 year old boys would have multiple near death experiences? How many 16 year old boys would have met every single legendary Pokemon in each region he visits, including the god of all Pokemon itself? How many 16 year old boys would meet the champion of every single region he visits and know them personally? How many 16 year old boys would take down multiple criminal organisations, at an estimate of at least one per region?

How many 16 year olds would have to acknowledge the fact that one of his friends has died a cruel death?

How many 16 year old boys would have to watch their mother, their only family left, die in front of their eyes as he was apprehended, held back and hapless to do anything to help her?

Oh the pain of having that pressure that he could have done something instead of just watching his mother die. Nothing could quell the guilt of that.

He has no family left, since his father died when he was 3. Watching Latios die at the age of 10 doesn't exactly help his current state either.

How many people close to him have died? How many people had he been forced to watch to die? How many people who died could he have saved? So many regrets, so many close calls. He almost lost his starter, his best friend, Pikachu, to death as well! Only because Xerneas was around and saved him did Pikachu survive!

His latest Kalos League loss isn't helping either. For once, he was so close to achieving the title of League Champion, yet he fell just short, by one attack. All his previous league losses all piled up on him at once, instead of just one that he could simply brush off. Old rivals, old travelling companions, they all bring back the memories from past league losses, past undeservingly failed battles, past undeservingly won battles, past…

All the losses, all the deaths, all the memories…

All piled up together?

 _Guilty…_

 _I'm guilty of not helping when able to, not saving people's lives when able to. I'm useless. I'm just hopelessly useless. An idiot who can't do a single thing right. Someone who never bothers to visit his friends, a terrible friend. Someone who rarely visits home, a terrible son. Someone who can't win a single league, a terrible trainer. Completely, utterly and hopelessly pathetic._

 _A terrible person altogether._

He's just a short distance from snapping.

* * *

Ash smiles a smile, another one, keeping it carefully plastered on his face, hiding the turmoil within.

 _Its a fake one. They know, they'll see through my facade, they'll stop your plans. They know the scars you hide, they know the plans you've made, they know the letters you've carved, they know the words you've written. They. Know. You. Are. Suicidal._

Everyone smiles back, fake ones too. They know how hard it must be for Ash. First his childhood friend and crush, Serena, lost her life in a tragic airplane crash, then his mother was brutally murdered in front of his eyes. They could only imagine what was going through his head.

 _Smile all you want~ Fake that smile, plaster it on your face. You could be a master at this and they'd still see through your facade. They're your friends after all. Why aren't you telling them? You little scaredy Meowth~ No better than Team Rocket you are._

His smile falters but he fixes it back up and no one but his all seeing, all knowing self proclaimed little sister Bonnie notices, although she says nothing. What could she ask? What's wrong? They all know what's wrong and for once, they can't help.

He sits down by the table and stares blankly at the pancakes made by Clemont in front of him. A fork in his hand gently prods one of the pancakes absentmindedly, a blank look on his face. Iris did not like that. As much as Ash used to be an irritating little kid, that blank look simply does not suit him at all. It was scary, almost as if he was going to turn the fork and stab himself in his heart, only he would never do that, ever.

Cilan looks on in worry. Iris's face had started darkening, that familiar gradual descent into anger already taking place inside of her. On the other hand, Ash's expression was empty, blank, lifeless. That look that seemed to be a descent into… Madness? Insanity? Sadness? Depression? For once in his connoisseur career, he had no idea what such an expression could mean.

Dawn had taken to alternating between fretting over Ash, taking deep breaths to calm herself and repeating her mantra of "Nothing to worry about!" over and over again. This was one of the times her mantra was a lie. A completely and utterly terrible lie. She sighs. Maybe she should inform her mother that she would be staying in Kanto, Pallet Town, for longer than expected.

May is currently on a long break from contests, intent to be there by Ash's side until her mentor is ready to deal with the troubles of life again. He used to be so happy, so cheerful, even his motto of "Never give up until the very end!" was absolutely concrete proof of that. Yet now, he seems to be slipping, slowly but surely losing himself by drowning himself in sorrows.

Max is staring at his idol, trying to find a logical explanation and reasoning behind why the worst things always happen to the best of people. He came up with no answer. Damn you Arceus. He saved the world multiple times, (heck he even saved you Arceus!) yet all he gets is another two big blows to his psyche. Watching him pick up the shattered remains of himself after nearly dying each time used to be painful enough, but this is a lot worse.

Brock, the Pokémon doctor, is contemplating what went wrong with his friend. It is either the pancakes or his friend that has issues, and as a chef, he personally feels that the pancakes are amazing. Besides, it used to be in Ash's genes to eat food quickly, complimenting the chef no matter how terrible it is, unless absolutely unbearable. He wonders whether Ash can be healed using the same ways he heals Pokémon and almost immediately dismisses such a thought.

Misty wonders whether a good dose of water is what Ash needs. Knock his head with her mallet, drag his sorry butt all the way to Cerulean Gym, and toss him into the swimming pool. That could go four ways. One, he could break out of this stupor, which is highly unlikely. Two, he could get mad with her and do something he might regret. Three, he would remain exactly how he is now. Four, he could stay down there and attempt to drown himself. Misty does not attempt to continue on this train of thought.

Ash stopped attempting to stomach any food and retreated up the stairs, his friends' worried gazes following his back.

* * *

 _Smile a smile you dead boy, you shouldn't be alive. So fake a smile and hopefully live another day, see the sun rise over the hills of Pallet again. Its what makes you happy isn't it? Not that I'd allow you to feel happiness anyway~_

Ash flinches at the voice. It had been haunting him since Serena's death. About Serena, he missed her so so much. He isn't as dense as everything thinks he is. He noticed the signs. He was well aware that Misty, May, Dawn, heck even Iris had crushes on him at different points in time. He played the dense act to not break their hearts and did the same for Serena, until he finally realised that he loved her too.

 _So someone finally understands their feelings, go get her boy! Oh wait, I forgot. She's dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. Never coming back ever again. Same as your mother. D-E-A-D. Tell me dead boy, what is life worth living for anymore?_

He doesn't understand. He knows what life is worth living for. It is and always has been to be a Pokémon Master, to travel the regions and learn more about them, to become the very best, that no one ever was. About the voice's nickname for him, why 'dead boy' of all names?

 _Dead boy because I am your emotions, and I. Am. Dead. If your emotions are dead, therefore you are dead. Now tell me, why did you want to become a Pokémon Master. Wait! You have no need to answer me. I know already don't I? I am a part of you anyway. You wanted to impress your mother. Well dead boy, good luck impressing someone who is dead with your new dead emotions. You could pretend to be a zombie without any effort you know?_

He flinches again, knowing exactly how true those words are.

A sudden urge runs through him, bringing him to a corner in his room, one that hides a box, a box that contains a weapon.

He opens the box and takes out the weapon, marvelling at the sharp shiny silver edges of the razor blade. He smiles emptily as he presses the blade against his wrist, drawing some blood as he drags the blade across it. No surprise there, he had been cutting for some time now. He smiles to himself about how the pain makes him feel something, how the pain makes him feel freedom, something he had not felt for a long long time.

He thinks back to the words he had carved on himself. _Worthless, weak, coward, dangerous…_ Then, he smiles. He knows where he belongs, but first, he needs to inform his friends of his newly made decision, not like they would ever approve of it, but they needed to know of it anyway. Actually, how about informing them of it a little too late?

He grabs a piece of paper, thinking hard as he writes down a series of words to his friends, not putting in much effort since firstly, he doesn't write much; secondly, he's eager to do what he needs to do; lastly, _Who cares anyway_?

He sighs, folding the note and placing it on his lap. As for the blade, he holds it against his wrist, taking a deep breath before pressing down.

* * *

Bonnie is worried.

She is the best at reading emotions, especially Ash's when she had been trying to figure any special feelings for… For _her_.

The feelings that she had read off Ash during breakfast weren't the most settling. It had been one of someone with nothing left to live for, and everyone knows that people with nothing to live for are essentially the most dangerous out any possible person. The carefully masked desperation buried under layers of hurt and blankness that no one else could read scared her.

Desperation for what?

Desperation for death.

She is worrying about the worst case scenarios that include a depressed Ash and a blade.

Her face pales as she remembers the pinkish whitish marks on his wrist.

Maybe those fears are realistic.

* * *

The door to his room flies open and he flinches at the loud noise.

Bonnie takes one look at his wrist and screams for Brock.

He blinks a few times, his world blurring and crisscrossing and…

He sees a faint outline of _her_. _Serena_.

Then, everything goes black as some people rush into the room, yelling his name.


	2. Chapter 2

Bonnie sits by Ash's bedside, the former's hands clasping one of the latter's. The beat of his heart is being broadcasted throughout the room by the heart monitor. Already weak from losing too much blood, lack of sleep and lack of proper nutrition, his heartbeat was rather slow. Well, to Bonnie at least. The past five days of Ash having been unconscious had been torturous. Rivals and other friends had popped by, all eager to visit the unconscious boy, with a purple haired boy called himself Paul and Alain. The three of them, Paul, Alain and Bonnie, had hit off quite easily, becoming good friends quickly despite their opposite personalities.

"I wonder if he's going to wake up soon…" Bonnie sighs, rubbing circles on Ash's limp palm gently.

"The beeping's getting on my nerves," Paul states blandly.

"You say this every day," Alain responses with a sigh.

"True."

Silence falls across the room once more, awkwardness filling the air, suffocating the very atmosphere they are in.

"I never thought that he'd be one to do such a thing like this…" Bonnie whispers, still rubbing circles on Ash's palm.

"We never did, not one of us did. He always seemed so irritatingly happy, like nothing would ever hold him back," Paul mutters.

"Yet here we are, watching over our friend, the very same Ash Ketchum, in a hospital after he tried to kill himself," Alain laughs drily at the irony of the situation.

"He'll get better. I just know he will," Bonnie announces, forcing cheerfulness into her voice.

"Just keep telling yourself that," Alain sighs. "I've known this boy least out of all of you, but I can tell when someone's been stretched past their breaking point, even for someone as cheerful as him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's been faking the smiles all along, even during his journeys." 

* * *

_Silence…_

He floats around in emptiness, savouring the quietness and peace in the void he is in. The melodies have stopped playing, the world has stopped spinning. Everything is calm.

 _But not right._

His eyebrows furrow at this thought. Everything is perfectly fine, going perfectly according to plan! He pictures a string that he holds on to, a string that connects to the rest of the living world. Just let go and he'll be gone.

 _Remember Serena? What would she think of her crush being painfully suicidal like that?_

His eyes snap open wide in this mindscape. Memories of happy times flood his mind, striking a deep regret into his heart. Memories of the past two weeks of deaths and aftermaths struck him again, only he looked at it from a different perspective this time.

Instead of remembering the sadness and grief and pain pain _pain_ , he remembered his friends, how they cared for him, how they kept their hopes up, how they tried their best to make the saddest of things into much happier things (despite the fact that he did not notice back then), hoping for him to see the more positive side to things.

A faint image of his mother shimmers in front of him, identical as of before everything went downhill. From her sparkling amber eyes and her mahogany hair, to her soft smile and caring gaze. Another familiar image of a girl fades in front of him, complete from her honey blonde hair and cheerful blue eyes, to the hat that she had worn since the beginning of her journey, albeit having modified it more than a few times, and the blue ribbon that he had given her. _Serena._

What he wouldn't have given to hug the two main women in his life right there and right then! He chocked back a sound that sounded suspiciously like a mix between a sob and a laugh.

Both of the females smile at each other, before turning to him.

"You have so much to live for, don't give up on yourself Ashy…" His mother sighs, caressing his cheek, feeling _real_.

He finds himself unable to move or say a word, despite longing to be able to wrap his arms around his mother, to assure himself this is far from a dream, to say goodbye to his mother for the last time. Stepping back, she allows Serena _Serena Serena_ to take her place. Serena smiles gently before slapping him in the face, shocking him to the very core. If he could, there would be tears running down his face and he would be asking why. But soon, Serena wrapped her arms around him.

"You idiot! Don't try that again! Please! Move on? For me? Please?" Serena begins, screaming, yet slowly turns to an interesting mix between sobbing and begging.

Upon hearing that, he can't help but want to cry, to assure her that he will not try to join them anytime soon.

 _But he already tried to._

Therefore that statement would be far from assuring, in fact it would influence the duo to shout at him. He would not like his last memories of his mom and Serena to be bad memories.

The duo each smiles one last smile, one of care and concern and love and hope _hope hope_ before fading away, back into the void.

He smiles faintly, now instead of letting the string go, he resolves to pull himself out, slowly but surely.

With that thought, a speck of light grew in the void, brighter and brighter, bigger and bigger, and… 

* * *

Ash's eyes flutters open, his head pounding and world spinning. The smell of disinfectant, sound of a heart monitor and white _white white_ washed walls fills his senses.

Almost immediately, he makes out a few figures by his bedside, each conversing softly with each other. He attempts to sit up, to take a closer look at the figures when one of them notices him and squeals in excitement.

"He's awake! He's alive!"

Lemon blonde hair, sky blue eyes, pastel yellow pouch… Bonnie?

"Woah there. I don't want my main rival, the guy I respect, the guy who convinced me to go for the Lumiose Conference in the first place, even sacrificing his chance to be the league champion, to suddenly collapse again due to overexertion," a voice speaks, strong arms holding him down.

Raven black hair, electric blue eyes, sky blue scarf…. Alain? What is Alain doing here, of all people?

"He's right, you know," a voice sounds, showing emotion, however slight it may be, surprisingly shocking for that certain person.

Lavender purple hair, coal black eyes, casual demeanour… Paul? If Alain was a surprise, Paul would be considered much much much more.

"Bonnie? Alain? Paul? What are you guys doing here?" He manages to croak out weakly.

"Shut up Ketchup," Paul sighs.

"Ketchum," Ash corrects in exasperation. "But seriously, why are you here and why am I- Oh."

"Oh," Bonnie choruses sarcastically.

"Yeah, oh," Ash deadpans.

"Oh? Oh? Oh?! You attempted suicide for Arceus's sake! Give me a couple reasons why none of us should be here? I… We… You… You little…" Bonnie yells, before breaking down into sobs. "What ever made you want to do that? We all care for you, we all love you in our different ways. (Insert a knowing look from Bonnie directed at a certain other person who may or may not be in the room, her high emotional intelligence having picked up the feelings from the unspecified person for Ash.)"

Sorrow and pain and hurt _hurt hurt_ enters Ash's eyes almost immediately, not noticing the glance.

"Sorry," Ash mutters, cheeks flushed and tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm sorry_!"

He curls up on himself, rocking back and forth gently while sobbing, while the other three stare at him in worry. It is far from natural to see the Chosen One in this sort of inconsolable state. Maybe they should get a doctor? Um… Yes, get a doctor! A doctor would know what to do!

They all exchange silent glances, the past five days allowing them to bond and understand each other far more easily, even without the use of words. " _Find a doctor now and fast!_ " is the silent message.

Paul leaves the room instantly, searching for the nearest doctor, while Bonnie embraces Ash in a hug. Bonnie's eyes are alight and shining with unshed tears for her 'brother', yet her glare manages to convince Alain to join the group hug as well, albeit a little reluctantly.

Ash's sobbing slows and reduces itself to slight sniffles while Alain hands Ash a piece of tissue paper. Ash, still worn out from blood loss, curls up on the hospital bed and falls asleep once more, even before the doctor arrives once more. 

* * *

Chocolate brown eyes fly open once more, the darkness of the underneath of the bedsheets the first to be noticed. Sounds of worried frantic discussions being held outside the door can be heard even though its like what? Three in the morning? From what he could hear, the discussion seemed to be purely about him.

"-worried about him-"

"-doesn't seem to be improving-"

"- didn't see him-"

"-made him do this-"

"-too harsh on himself-"

"- being too harsh on him-'

"- Pikachu-"

"- rest needed-"

"Pathetic idiots," a voice sounds clearly, more audible than all the rest.

Ash feels a slight grin making its way onto his face. It feels so natural, yet so exotic, having been so long since he had last smiled a true smile. Typical Paul, calling everyone by 'pathetic' and 'troublesome' and 'idiot' and…. Point made.

Hey, he may have nearly visited the afterlife, and may have tried to kill himself, but at least he is feeling better now.

Getting better, one step at a time. 

* * *

_His mixed up melody slowly but surely untangles itself into separate individual notes that can be used to form a beautiful piece of music, a true melody. A true melody is one where there is no need for another person to help with the score or add more notes or remove some. Ash Satoshi Ketchum, a sixteen year old from the Town of Pallet, is slowly regaining his true melody, bit by bit. Maybe one day though, he will get over his broken hear and his melody will be able to successfully intertwine with another person's melody._

 _And you said they were just melodies._


	3. oGaP Teaser

**Two worlds shall cross each other, and the future war shall be saved by those who transcend both worlds.**

* * *

 _ **~Flashback to the past, 12 years ago~**_

* * *

 _"Sleep my child," a comforting voice cooed to the human child in her tree. "Sleep, and all shall be fine."_

 _To any other normal human, all they would have heard would be "Mew me-ew. Mew, ew me me-ew-ew" or something along the lines. However, the human girl understood and smiled softly before doing as told, falling into a deep slumber, bright black eyes with grey flecks in them closing._

 _The legendary New Species Pokémon swished her long pink tail as she floats in the air, deep in thought. The human child had appeared from a time-space rift between this world and another, clear proof that she didn't belong here. Then again, the child didn't even seem purely human, her aura consisting of another force, making her aura much stronger than a normal human's._

 _Mew swished her tail again, pondering over whether or not the child was really worth the trouble._

 _Maybe not, but she'd have been adopted anyway._

 _Her looks, they seemed so serene. Serene? Serena? Sarina. Sarina would be the girl's name._

 _Mew smiled softly at her soon to be adopted daughter, before frowning. She'd have to ask Dialga and Palkia about the time-space rift later._

* * *

 _ **~Flashback end, back to the present~**_

* * *

 **Maybe it was not the safest though.**

* * *

"Stay AWAY from me!" A jet black haired boy growled, sea green eyes flashing dangerously as he swung his celestial bronze sword, Anaklusmos, and swinging it furiously at the monsters in front of him.

His blade, slashed through the monsters like an arc of destruction, leaving a trail of golden dust in its wake. The small group of seven monsters almost instantly decreased to none.

"Organised monster attacks, really what else could go wrong after two wars? Another war?" He grunted to himself. "Can't a boy cut in peace?"

"PERCE!" A voice screamed, searching for him.

"Gods damnit," Percy cursed, sprinting back out of the alley and back into the busy streets of New York.

* * *

 **Maybe it would have been better if neither worlds cross.**

* * *

"Just a teensy bit of peace?" A raven black haired boy begged, his once warm and lively chocolate brown eyes now shattered. "Please?"

"No Ash, no," the little blonde girl in front of him replied sternly. "Arceus knows what you're going to do if I leave! Maybe you'll try to walk and leave even though you so clearly AREN'T in the shape to do so, maybe you'll try to suicide again… Don't give me that look, you know perfectly well that's true, especially immediately after what just happened! You're in no position to make such requests. Any more funny stuff from you and I'll set Alain and Paul on you. You know that three of us together can be extremely extremely protective of you and that's not what you want right?"

"Yes ma'am," Ash grumbled, subtly cursing every known legendary Pokémon in existence under his breath.

* * *

 **Yet maybe it was all for the best.**

* * *

"Arceus damnit!" A girl with long dark brown hair tipped with emerald green cursed, twin daggers swiping through the monsters from Greek mythology.

Aeon and Infinity, the twin daggers, sliced through a monster, another, and another. She sighed before glancing around, noticing the lone hellhound on the rooftop. Instantly, she flipped her daggers back into two rings, flipping another ring into a bow, a quiver of arrows forming on her back as well. She grabbed an arrow tipped with Celestial Bronze, pulled back the string of Midnight, the bow, and let the arrow fly. The arrow hit the hellhound right through its heart and it vanished into golden dust. She flipped the bow and both the bow and quiver of arrows disappeared and reformed as another ring on one of her fingers.

"Stupid hellhounds. Stupid greek mythology. Stupid heritage..." She grumbled to herself.

 _Come home Sarina..._ A voice called through their mental link.

Sarina rolled her eyes. _Yes Memma. I'll be there in around 5 minutes._

She then swiped through the air simultaneously using the three rings, muttering a prayer under her breath in an ancient language.

A blueish purple portal forms, she turned around, checking for other people, before stepping into the portal and disappearing.

The portal twinkled and faded away slowly soon after she left.

* * *

 **Greek Gods…**

 **Legendary Pokémon…**

 **Self-discovery…**

 **Hidden pasts…**

 **Deadly secrets…**

 **When the worlds of Greek Gods and Legendary Pokémon collide, what will happen to those caught in the crossfire?**

 **Find out in…**

* * *

 **Of Gods And Pokémon (oGaP)**  
 **(Available under the fan fiction profile of DarkColdSummer today)**

* * *

 _(A/N: Hiya! Friendly announcement from your resident author, Summer, here! Of Gods and Pokémon (oGaP), a Pokémon and Percy Jackson and the Olympians crossover, is out today! Teehee~ Maybe I'm not the best at announcements, but this should do the trick and pump everyone up before reading the sequel, right? oGaP is a sequel of sorts to both Melodies and Silenced. Melodies is a two-shot involving what happened in the Pokémon world before the events in this teaser happens (the events of this teaser takes place before oGaP too). On the other hand, Silenced is a birthday one-shot involving what happened in the PJO world before the events in this teaser happens too! Honestly, oGaP may not be one of my best works, but it will definitely be one that has my main focus! Thanks, and please read oGaP! :D_

 _Peace out!  
_ _Summer)_


End file.
